attention deficit disorder

November 11, 2017 89 By Maggie Tan

so what if i smoke a little more than i should.

so what if i drink a bottle of prosecco and sing a little louder than i should.

so what if i jump around at 4am and be a little more disturbing than i should.

so what if i read a novel instead of these texts that i’m supposed to.

so what if i walk around without shoes and step on a little more dirt than i should.

so what if i stare at strangers and act a little more capricious than i should.

so what if i laugh and make fun of myself a little more than others would.

so what if i compliment a little more, complain a little less,

cry on my own, kick around, run around, poke around,

in circles, without a plan, a little out of control,

and popping it here and there, than i really, really should.

so what if i’m silent, detached, living in the clouds.

so what if i’m obnoxious, touchy-feely, demanding and pounding.

so what if i disappear, then reappear when you need me,

when you can’t see a way out, can’t find an answer.

let the answers drift. let the questions flow.

let your tears tell you what you really want.

let your smiles tell you you’re blessed.

let your fears urge you to try.

let your miles prove them wrong.


so what if i put things off only to find that when i come back to them,

i have a renewed sense of purpose and a pair of rainbow goggles.

walk away your doubts, cast away that wilson.

let them be free.

let them have space to roam and wander.

let them run into walls and fall on the ground.

let them, simply let them go.


you held my gaze upon that first entrance.

you are in my every breath, every step i turn.

you are in my heart.

and you know this.


i care. i want to care.

i want to give more cares and fucks.

this body we occupy, this mind that comes alive,

are you conscious of your being?

are you conscious of the energies around you?

are you conscious of how transient our passing on this face of earth,

and scrumptious that scone is?

do you have attention deficit disorder?


provoke them.


these structures draw our contours, and yours is looking fine.

i want to kiss your lips, blow a smoke ring to encapsulate your figure.

hop through it, you are fine.

you are more than fine.