fuck

November 11, 2017 3826 By Maggie Tan

the highest peaks could also take you down to the deepest valleys.

the heart is worn on the sleeves these days.

there is a stronger need to bond.

a warrior, twice defeated.

why am i so susceptible to your charms?

excess, debauchery, too much fluttering;

and not enough substance.

black hole, spinning round and round,

where are we going?

hedonistic tendencies overriding one’s true self,

does it take paranoia and hypercriticism to reveal one’s dark side?

white nights, powdered noses, popping all over the place.

what are we chasing?

experiences of the sparkling led us down this path,

a path that seemed so beautiful at first sight,

but does it lead us anywhere?

nowhere, somewhere?

within us.

within us?

 

*

 

emotions coursing through these hardened arteries,

the initial high is waning and reality is creeping in.

do you remember the last time you felt this way?

free-spirited and independent,

positive vibes happily shared with all.

the bubbly demeanour deceives,

and tucks feelings away.

locked up in a place where the paper trail is burnt.

traces could no longer be found,

it had been such a long time since we last met.

did you detect the chemistry between us?

is it still as palpable as before, if not more?

judged, time after time,

why must you think this way?

 

i am not perfect.

i am fragile.

and i won’t let you see that ever.

 

perhaps i should alter my ways,

perhaps our creation ended long before its final production.

perhaps our secrets hinder the blissful construction of our redolence.

whatever it is, you got me thinking,

feeling, feeling, feeling all these intense feelings,

of bygone days and forgotten nights.

 

*

 

dazzling eyes, stared and left a mark on my battered heart.

discoveries of hidden dimensions,

like a kid finding lollipops for the first time.

as we intertwined and played the tune of intoxicated cupid,

you hit the spot, right in the middle.

of the essence that i’ve been trying to catch.

pleasure blinded me, a vision appeared out of thin air.

the horse charged ahead, swords drawn,

blood flowed and heads fell.

pain shook me, i could no longer see you –

your moans and prayers brought the karmic energy to our present day,

right here, right now,

i could no longer tolerate our mere bodies.

kissed your forehead,

kissed your eyes,

kissed your soul.

the opening of the heart:

i accepted all of it.

i forgave our past sins.

without judgment.

without contempt.

without hatred.

that face looked so sweet, i had to lay my head on you.

and already i began to regret allowing karma play the fool again.